Death Battle Game: FIX THE FIGHT

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 2:12 pm
There are quite a few "srs bidnus" threads and discussions in this forum, but how about a game?

Inspired by a thread in Mangastream's now removed forums (RIP old friend), FIX THE FIGHT's rules are simple. One person creates an obviously mismatched, one sided battle and the next poster has to come up with a hilariously over-the-top and goofy explanation for why the underdog wins. Then the second poster comes up with their own fight and the thread continues

Ex) Poster A: "Super Saiyan God Goku vs Red and Yellow M&M"

Poster B: "Red and Yellow unleash a colossal swarm of M&Ms minis, who bravely sacrifice themselves by kamikaze-ing into Goku's gullet. Goku, being the glutton he is, can't get enough of the delicious, chocolate, and still very sentient candies, but little does he know he fell right into Red and Yellow's plans. Goku's GI tract is is being filled by millions, billions, even trillions of candy coated chocolate (many of whom have survived the digestive process). A combination of the excessive amounts of candy and the surviving minis wreaking havoc from within ensure Goku's defeat in an extremely gruesome outcome

The Hulk vs Black Canary"

Just remember that people might not have any idea of some of the characters you might bring up, so try to use well known characters when you can. Also, try and keep your answers as funny and as crazy with as much detail as possible. It's more fun than saying "lol Batman always has a plan" or something of that nature

I can start us off: Silver Surfer vs Avatar Korra
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Sweet Tooth's Daddy
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 2:18 pm
This battle was a close one, but Korra takes it. Since Korra can energy bend she would have no trouble bending any of Sufers cosmic power away and redirecting it back at him, because let's face it, cosmic energy is still energy. And Korra reacted to a point blank explosion, so already she has the speed and defense to completely negate any of Surfer's attacks. Now many people think that Surfer can simply atomize her, but his atomization clearly has limits because he never used it when Thanos was beating him, so obviously it wouldn't work against Korra. Korra can also bend metal and since Silver Surfer is made of silver, he would easily be ripped apart by Korra's sheer skill.

The winner is Korra.
Spoiler
Truth be told this is actually from the Death Battle script, even has their logic and everything


I'll go next, Deathstroke vs Scrappy Doo.
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 2:28 pm
XImpossibruX wrote:This battle was a close one, but Korra takes it. Since Korra can energy bend she would have no trouble bending any of Sufers cosmic power away and redirecting it back at him, because let's face it, cosmic energy is still energy. And Korra reacted to a point blank explosion, so already she has the speed and defense to completely negate any of Surfer's attacks. Korra can also bend metal and since Silver Surfer is made of silver, he would easily be ripped apart by Korra's sheer skill.

The winner is Korra.
Spoiler
Truth be told this is actually from the Death Battle script, even has their logic and everything


I'll go next, Deathstroke vs Scrappy Doo.

Bravo friend :D

Deathstroke might be a cunning warrior, but even he simply can not stand up to Scrappy Doo's preposterously potent, perfectly prepared (never precarious), and power-packed petaton-level punches (precharged of course with his patented Puppy Power), that presumably ended the paleolithic era. The alliteration alone is too much for Deathstroke to comprehend, resulting in his mind being blown, as well as those within a continent-level range

Superman vs Superdude (All That)
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The Other Ripley
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 3:13 pm
Superdude is known to handle his own weakness, dairy, far better than Superman. While being near even a small sample Kryptonite can hurt and even kill Superman, Superdude could drink an entire gallon of milk and the worst thing that can happen is indigestion. Heck, Superdude fights enemies literally made of his weaknesses and wins, while Superman loses to Batman with not nearly as much Kryptonite. In addition, Superdude was able to deal with Evil Superdude without nearly as much damage to himself or others than Superman can say about his enemy, Bizarro. And for the sake of fairness, since Lactose Intolerance Definer gets to inform Superman about Superdude's lactose intolerance, Batman tells Superdude of Superman's weakness as well.

The winner is Superdude.

Bayonetta vs. Ashley (WarioWare)
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 3:23 pm
Iron Joe wrote:Superdude is known to handle his own weakness, dairy, far better than Superman. While being near even a small sample Kryptonite can hurt and even kill Superman, Superdude could drink an entire gallon of milk and the worst thing that can happen is indigestion. Heck, Superdude fights enemies literally made of his weaknesses and wins, while Superman loses to Batman with not nearly as much Kryptonite. In addition, Superdude was able to deal with Evil Superdude without nearly as much damage to himself or others than Superman can say about his enemy, Bizarro. And for the sake of fairness, since Lactose Intolerance Definer gets to inform Superman about Superdude's lactose intolerance, Batman tells Superdude of Superman's weakness as well.

The winner is Superdude.

Bayonetta vs. Ashley (WarioWare)

Bayonetta scoffs at the small child before her, but then Ashley's music starts playing. Bayonetta collapses in a pitiful pile of weeping hair now that she knows to "be afraid of the great Ashley." Ashley shows no mercy and condemns the sultry witch to an eternity of playing microgames

The Lords of the Night clash:

Dracula (Castlevania) vs Jack Skellington (The Nightmare Before Christmas)
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Number Cruncher
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 3:57 pm
Since he is dead, Jack can take off his head, making it act like a Medusa Head, something even Dracula can't defeat in Castlevania.

Jack SKellington wins.

Shao Khan vs. The Grimace.
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The Other Ripley
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 4:00 pm
Shao Kahn is really, really old. Therefore, even though he looks like he's in his 30's, he's more vulnerable to a heart attack than the oldest man in our world. All it took was a nice, forced helping of a large Coke to do Shao Kahn in. Also, Grimace is nigh galaxy-level based on scaling from Ronald, who can create enough stars to fill a galaxy. And finally, Grimace is a costume and therefore does not have nerves, and was therefore able to laugh off Shao Kahn's attacks like nothing; his lack of a soul provided a similar advantage. Also this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeyU7uVOTic

The winner is Grimace.

Barret Wallace vs. Jeff Andonuts

EDIT: Better idea, since it might be hard to tell who stomps in that one:

EarthBound party vs. FF7 Party
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Number Cruncher
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 4:22 pm
Earthbound protagonists pray to the animator, who fixes the fightin their favor. Earthbound wins.

Godzilla Vs. the Cinema Snob.
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The Other Ripley
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 4:28 pm
...FF7 was supposed to "win" that...Tifa might be vastly superior to Poo, and Barret might be vastly superior to Jeff, but Ness drags his nuts over the lot of them, and Paula would contribute just as greatly.

Anyway...

Godzilla might have been larger, stronger, faster, and a better fighter, but the Snob decided to stick with real Kaiju films, like Gamera and Ultraman. This neglect forced Godzilla into a fit of incredible confusion that ultimately ended his life, since Godzilla's films are actually far better than Gamera's in general. See, the Snob can clearly tell that Godzilla's size is purely (bad) special effects, so all he had to do was insult it enough and the filmmakers stopped bothering.

The winner is the Cinema Snob.

Poo (EarthBound) vs. The Great Mighty Poo (Conker's Bad Fur Day)
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 4:33 pm
Cinema Snob gets a hold of Godzilla's worst movies. As Godzilla weeps from the Snob tearing his films apart, the Snob deals a killing blow: he shows the King of the Monsters his Hanna-Barbera cartoon. Humiliated, Godzilla takes his own life, and is promptly regenerated only for the process to happen again and again

Iron Joe wrote:...FF7 was supposed to win that...Tifa might be vastly superior to Poo, and Barret might be vastly superior to Jeff, but Ness drags his nuts over the lot of them, and Paula would contribute just as greatly.

Anyway...

Godzilla might have been larger, stronger, faster, and a better fighter, but the Snob decided to stick with real Kaiju films, like Gamera and Ultraman. This neglect forced Godzilla into a fit of incredible confusion that ultimately ended his life, since Godzilla's films are actually far better than Gamera's in general. See, the Snob can clearly tell that Godzilla's size is purely (bad) special effects, so all he had to do was insult it enough and the filmmakers stopped bothering.

The winner is the Cinema Snob.

Poo (EarthBound) vs. The Great Mighty Poo (Conker's Bad Fur Day)


The GMP hurls feces at Poo, who did not think to bring toilet paper to the fight. Poo defeats GMP, but falls sick and perishes due to infection while GMP eventually regenerates

Archie Super Sonic vs The Crimson Chin
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